Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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