im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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