just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize