Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
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