farters have to be the big spoon...
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
