I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
