so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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