Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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