Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
