I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
