The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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