But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
