I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Alive.
So much puke
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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