ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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