it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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