Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
her facebook's as public as her vagina
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize