3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
one might say we're banned from that church
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
