u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
420 ftw
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
