Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I am midnight drunk by noon
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
