My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
