i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize