yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
