She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize