So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
