Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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