you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Sober January is a disaster.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I need mimosas to revive my soul
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
