Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize