oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I FOUND THE LEGS
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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