i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
How does it feel to date your dad?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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