In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize