How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
