How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
