I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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