Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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