He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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