Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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