i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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