She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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