i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
