Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize