Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
