i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
