HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
