So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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