He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
