READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Redeem this text for a blowjob
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
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