Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
