help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
