so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
