This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
