Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
