walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
