Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
