I faked an abortion last night.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
