my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
