This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
