i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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