i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just threw up on my dentist
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
