there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
