I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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