i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
