I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
