Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
