Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
