i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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