I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
