nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
