Screwed.edu
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
