hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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