Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
